• By default you are a “human doing” not a “human being” – If you don’t stake a claim to where you want to go by default it is chosen for you. We need to step away from the field of play and being “immersed in doing” and think about where it is we want to go to chart our course as a “human being.” Once we have determined what we want to “be,” then we need to engage in what we need to “do.” 

• Expecting to be a world- class sprinter right out of the blocks – The process of becoming yourself is an inside journey which evolves over time. It is not an epiphany. You become yourself through conscious reflection, adjustment, and self-directed shifts in your path. 

• You don’t like what you see in yourself – In order to become your “better self” takes self-confidence in where you are now. You need faith your life has a higher purpose which you are continually evolving to achieve. 

• Your “fans” want to tell you where to run – Sometimes your friends and colleagues are busier telling you what you can’t do as opposed to lighting a fire under your dreams. In the end you need to run your own race ignoring the obstacles some of your purported “fans” will set up. 

• You need to apply some Ben Gay to your instincts – You need to trust your instincts to guide your path. In the book “Millionaire Mind” by Thomas Stanley the highest percentage of top performing people where determined to be those who ran their careers driven by their passions and interests. This takes the confidence to follow your intuition and gut instincts through the face of the nay Sayers. 

• You may blame the judges, field conditions, and competitors for your lack of performance – The easiest person to fix is yourself but oftentimes we are oblivious to our personal blind spots. 

• The price of admission to the meet is too high – Becoming yourself is a journey whose path will be fraught with tears, trials, and tribulations. You will find fulfillment but will have to run through both the “uncomfortable zone” and “experimentation alley.” These will, at times, be dark spaces. 

Identifying the challenging parts of becoming yourself is the easy part. The key is “what are you going to do about it?” Consider the 5 step “Run for your life” process:

Step 1 – Travel inside
Step 2 – Look outside
Step 3 – Get running
Step 4 – Look at the scoreboard and make adjustments
Step 5 – Celebrate victories and get started again

Step 1 – Travel Inside

Although you can look to others for guidance and inspiration to guide your run – ultimately your life is a race against and for yourself. How do you go about finding your purpose, passion, and unique path?

•  Start by asking key questions – 

1. What are the 3 most important values to me?

2. What is important to me? 

3. What bugs me and what can I do about it?

4. When do I feel the most peaceful and the most engaged in life? What am I doing when I lose track of time (i.e. when I am in the zone)? 

5. What would I like others to say about me at my eulogy? How could I start living today to create this kind of person? 

6. When do I feel the most needed? 

7. What do I love to do and what activities draw out my strengths? 

8. What gets me excited? 

• Consider purchasing some books – Some excellent books on this subject are “Passion Plan” by Richard Chang, “Half Time” by Bob Buford, and “Creating Your Future” by Dave Ellis. 

Traveling inside begins by “leaning into” your own life instead of waiting for the race to come to us. Bill Prior the CEO of Kinetico Corporation explained to me we need to be running the race of our life as if we are “on fire!” Our purpose needs to be driven by our values and passions, which will light the fire we need under our butts! For your race to be truly inspiring consider how you would like to positively impact others and your community through your purpose. 

A note of caution: As we begin to travel inside and then start to manifest our purpose with action, we inevitably leave some people behind who do not like and/or understand our direction. 

Step 2 – Look Outside

Once you have traveled inside you need to begin to look outside to mesh your internal purpose and passion with the external world. Start asking how can I make a difference in my world? Who needs my skills and capabilities? As they say in real estate, “What is my highest and best use?” In order to really find your place in the larger world takes “seeing a larger world.” We can increase our vision by going outside our comfort zone doing things we have never done before, reading new subjects and concepts, and getting to know people outside our traditional circles. 

Step 3 – Get Running 

Once you have determine your initial purpose and begun to think through how you are going to use it in the world you are ready to start running towards your goals and objectives. The question- how to start?

• Write down the steps - What are the small steps to reach the large goal? When do I need to start? How long will it take? Who can I get to help? If you still don’t have the foggiest idea, consider:

1. Travel the path that has been worn– When we go through the woods we tend to walk along paths that have been traveled before. While your paths may take some unique twists and turns you can learn from those who have traveled down similar paths. Seek out mentors. Not only thank them for their insights, but keep them up to date on your journey. Most people love to provide a helping hand to those who act on their advice.

2. Involve others– Although this is your race you can get there faster by taking others along! Share your dream and excitement. Let others benefit and add value to your dream. 

3. Stop entering every race – When you have the option to say no you start having time to say yes to your path. Identify what you can stop doing. 

Step 4 – Look at the scoreboard and make adjustments

Are so busy “doing” you have no time to consider how you are “being?” To become yourself will require time to reflect on your scoreboard. Is what I’m doing working? If not what can I do to adjust? Great teams make halftime adjustments – why not us? You might ask, “How can I become reflective and objective about myself?” Consider:

• Consider a walk, jog, retreat, keeping a journal – You can’t reflect during your daily activities. Reflection takes time to be quiet so you can hear your “inner voice” (as referred to by Ralph Waldo Emerson). Find quiet time (even if it is only in the car) to consider your thoughts and feelings about daily circumstances and adjustments needed. 

• Ask, “What could I have done better?” – When something doesn’t go well look for how you could have contributed to a better result. The only person you ultimately control is yourself. Ask what happened? Why did it happen? What did it mean? What can I learn?

• Learn from relationships with teammates, but don’t be made by them – Much of your learning happens through the interactions with others. Work to understand your teammates through asking open-ended questions, but reserve your right to have a different perspective. 

• Get a coach – Sometimes no matter how hard we try we are blind to ourselves. Consider an executive coach for business or a personal coach to provide an objective “scoreboard” of results and to assist in opening up paths and removing some real and perceived obstacles in your way. 

Step 5 – Celebrate victories and quickly get start again

Once you’ve run a great race and finished with your personal best – enjoy the moment! To paraphrase from Wide World of Sports- you need to embrace your “thrill of victory” to counteract your inevitable “agony of defeat” moments. Consider identifying and journalizing on a daily basis what you have to be grateful for. Ask, “What can I celebrate about today?” On some days this will take a lot of searching, but life is a self-fulfilling prophecy – you get what you believe and think about!

When can I get started?

There is no time like NOW to get started on running the race of life with purpose. As I tell my 6-year old son Grant, “The purpose of the race is not to be the best- it is to do your best!” The benefits are being excited and engaged in the race of your life! I’m looking forward to seeing you on the 
track!

If you would like to have Mike speak to your group consider the following programs:
Constructing the Framework of Success
Motivation - Begins with Me; Grows with We
Running the Race of Life with Purpose

If you want to get Mike's insights on this topic in one on one sessions click here.

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Mike Foti is Chief Executive Officer of Cleveland Glass Block (a Northcoast 99 recipient for best employers in Northeast Ohio and a Community Pillar Award winner for community service) and President of Leadership Builders. Mike is a national speaker, writer, and consultant who helps individuals and companies get results through people. To ask Mike how he might help you, or to receive his free tips and leadership articles, call 216-531-6085 or visit his web site at www.leadershipbuilders.com.