We can’t take a bite out of every apple

BY Mike Foti

When my brother Frank was 4 years old he ventured off on an excursion to a neighbors house. When he walked into the next- door neighbor’s garage he found a bushel full of apples. My brother being the devilish little guy proceeded to take a bite out of every apple in the bushel and then put them in a circle on the garage floor. Needless to say the neighbors were not happy about my brother’s “sampling procedure!” 
The challenge that we face today in taking control and enjoying our lives is analogous to these apples in the bushel. There are limitless options surrounding us. There are more than 50 different television stations, the internet has an entire world of information at the click of a button, and with this rapid pace of change the average college student is now expected to have 3 to 5 career changes on average in their life. Do you feel that all these choices are paralyzing your ability to make a decision? How do we choose the right apple(s) from the bushel and achieve happiness by being able to focus and enjoy one apple? How do we start on a career or personal plan for ourselves?

It begins with passion
A Stanford study showed that 85% of people don’t like to do the work that they do. The startling thing about this statistic is how it is not startling at all. The biggest gift we have in our life is the choices we make. In pursuit of passion we have to ask ourselves several questions:

  • Where does passion occur? – Passion occurs at the intersection of what we love to do and what we are good at (or believe we have the potential to be good at)? If we don’t love what we do we cannot be enthusiastic towards the activity. We need to have a competency for, and be challenged by, the activity we are going to direct our passion towards. If we are overqualified for the activity we will become bored, if we are under qualified we will find anxiety in the activity. We need for the activity to put us slightly on the edge while still being within our realistic capabilities. 

  • How can we find our passion? – Consider reflecting on the following ourselves and then brainstorming with a group of friends and/or coworkers with these questions:

  1. What do I love to do in my job? Write down 5 things.

  2. What do I love to do in my free time? Write down 5 things.

  3. What subjects in school fascinated me?

  4. What activities give me the greatest feeling of self- esteem and personal pride?

  5. What accomplishments have given me the greatest feeling of importance?

  6. What am I really good at? What do I think I can be really good at?

  7. How can I combine what I like with what I am really good at? Can I put this into a greater purpose or mission? Will I be enthusiastic about this purpose?

Visualize our preferred future and focus on our goals
We can’t take a bite out of every apple. We need to first see what our preferred future looks like. How can create a clear mental picture of what this future might look like and to develop goals and plans to make it a reality? Consider some possible strategies:

  •  Ask the experts. Go to people who are doing what you want to do and come prepared with questions on how they got where they are. Learn the “price” that will need to be paid to achieve your preferred future. 

  • Saying no means saying yes. Learning to say no allows us to say yes to our focused goals. 

  • Make sure our schedule meets our goals and objectives. Keep a time log for a week and see where the time is going. Are we spending all our time putting out the short-term high priority “fires” that are in front of us that we don’t have time to pursue the higher value longer time frame projects that will get us to our goals? If so we may need to teach others to handle these “fires” and/or put better procedures in place to minimize their occurrence. 

  • Get others involved with our dream. When we include others in our dream we do 2 things:

  1. We “set ourselves up.” When we publicize our intentions it puts our integrity on the line to achieve what we set out to do.

  2. We “open ourselves up.” When others know our goals they may begin to consciously recognize opportunities for us and refer us.

  •  Define our passion in a larger purpose. When our passion is not just “me-centered” and has a larger positive impact on others around us it is possible to crystallize many people to take action. Martin Luther King Jr. did not start out with the goal to be the leader of the civil rights movement, but his passion to eliminate the injustices that existed were able to crystallize a large part of the country.

  • Does our current organization provide an outlet for our passion? – Evaluate whether we can create meaningful and challenging work that overlaps with our passion. We must take the initiative to create this type of work and not expect magically for it to come to us. 

Move into the “field” and take action

Now comes the laborious part of our task. We have determined our passion, have become focused on our goals, and know we need the discipline to execute the plan. How can we keep our energy level consistently high to ensure that our passions don’t fade? Here are some strategies to consider:

  • Set up a system of mini-rewards. To get to our grander preferred future it will take many smaller steps along the way. Set specific quantifiable goals with deadlines. Celebrate the little victories. Consider going out for ice cream or taking a walk. Have fun!

  • Recognize that progress comes in a zigzag fashion. Nobody takes a straight line up! We need to recognize that setbacks will occur. Learn and adapt from the setbacks and move on. Keep a journal of what you learned from something that went awry and write down how specifically you are going to minimize this happening again. 

  • “Rotten apples” will try to take us off course. Some people will try to sabotage our efforts because they are jealous or spiteful. Minimize our interaction with “rotten apples” and don’t let them dissuade our dreams.

  • Learn, learn, and learn. Self- education is the key to new ideas that can reinvigorate us and move us forward. Read books, listen to tapes, and go to seminars. Most importantly develop an “action plan” after the tape, book, or seminar with specific actions we are going to take as a result of what we learned. Move those action items into our planning system.

The first apple we choose might not be the best apple for us

Rarely is the first apple that we choose exactly the right apple for us. As we get to learn more about our preferred future we need to adapt and reevaluate our goals. We need to continually “polish” our apple to better fit with both our changes and those in our environment.

If you would like to have Mike speak to your group consider the following programs:
Constructing the Framework of Success
Motivation - Begins with Me; Grows with We
Running the Race of Life with Purpose

If you want to get Mike's insights on this topic in one on one sessions click here.


<< Back

Mike Foti is Chief Executive Officer of Cleveland Glass Block (a Northcoast 99 recipient for best employers in Northeast Ohio and a Community Pillar Award winner for community service) and President of Leadership Builders. Mike is a national speaker, writer, and consultant who helps individuals and companies get results through people. To ask Mike how he might help you, or to receive his free tips and leadership articles, call 216-531-6085 or visit his web site at www.leadershipbuilders.com.

 


Leadership Builders
4566 East 71st St.
Cleveland, OH, 44105



 

mfoti@leadershipbuilders.com
Tel. 216-658-1293
Fax. 216-531-2388

 

This site is designed and maintained
by
Level 2 Group